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There are some days when my tongue needs to be reined in. Today is one of those days.

Twice today I have been extravagantly sarcastic, in a flippant way. Not mean spirited, but still…

In the first instance, I’d ran across a game named “Aquaretto”. Thinking this to be a jest of some kind, I found out that it was a legitimate, soon to be released board game expansion for Zooloretto, which itself is a board game version of the card game Coloretto. I was a little incredulous, because the game was marketed both as an expansion to Zooloretto and as a standalone product. In Zooloretto, the theme is barn animals. In Aquaretto, we’re talking about dolphins. It was frankly an absurd idea to market it as an expansion thematically.

I decided to one-up them, and so I started a thread in the game’s entry on BGG entitled Dracularetto:

In the next expansion (cum standalone game), players take the role of a vampire. At night, they go and lure victims into the graveyard. They then bring the victims home into their lair. The vampires can consume as much as they like of only a few types of blood, so they must be wary. Any hot blondes they encounter they will take as dark brides!

Be on the lookout for this exciting new game from Rio Grande in October 2008!

The funny thing is that a couple people have expressed actual interest in the game! hehehe.

In exhibit B, we see Adam reading another BGG article. It’s entitled Game Library Network, and suggests a Netflix type rental program for board games, only peer based. Now one thing you have to understand about the internet is that there are some maligned phrases. One such is ending a comment with “Discuss.” It’s pretentious and commanding.

So I started to discuss it, but supplanting his idea by one-upmanship again:

Perhaps we could keep the library on a Board Game Commune(BGC). Anyone who wants to play games could move to the commune and bring their collection with them. After a day of working in the fields, milking cows, or computer programming, they would gather for dinner and board games.

Weekends would be a gaming free for all; we’d have a large geodesic dome full of tables, a nice large hearth, and refreshments for all.

This would definitely solve the theft issue, because all of the games would remain on the commune. No need to hold on to the game either, since it’s going to be kept in the library and you can play it whenever. Timing is no problem; they’re all on site!

They’ll all also be alphabetized as well. People on the commune could be requisitions for teaching and instruction, and advanced strategy.

Think about it. The majority of your collection goes unplayed during the year. Same thing with all your friends. If we pooled all of our resources, we’d have this massive collection, a ton of people to play with, and if we wanted a new game, we’d buy a couple of copies.

If you’d like to join, email bgc@boardgamecommune.com. The commune will be nestled between Colorado Springs and Denver, just a half an hour from each.

See you there!

Now, neither of these were very bad, but I can tell when I’m off kilter. I need to be on guard.